Okay, I know cable and internet service hassles may seem like one of those of pseudoproblems that infuriate overprivileged whiners (OMG Kimberly! Whyyyy are the lines always sooo loooooong at the Galleria on Black Fridaaaaaaayyyyy?) but…
1.) Cable and especially internet service should be treated as public utilities;
2.) Providers enjoy regional monopolies;
3.) For folks who telecommute or rely on internet for business, this is an essential service;
4.) Consumers of any product or service must be protected from abuse by businesses who take money but systematically fail to deliver;
5.) Internet porn surfers, intellectual property pirates, and Judge Judy addicts have rights too, dammit!
Thus the cable industry’s biggest oligarch, Comcast, and its ongoing mess of massive, unexplained system outages and failure to provide customer service response are more than an inconvenient annoyance. This notorious serial mugger of cable consumers is in the middle of a huge shitstorm of complaints about its new cloud-based X1 “platform”[i]—an overhyped DVR/set-top box so bug infested in should never have made it out of beta phase—and its apparent role in widespread service interruptions.
However, this most recent rash of service outages and disruptions extend well beyond what Comcast has only acknowledged as “an issue with X1 services” this past weekend which enraged thousands of Comcast TV cable customers during Sunday football. Thousands more were unable to watch Tuesday night election returns. Numerous independent online outage maps and reports indicate that Comcast is still having rolling interruptions that involve almost every region they serve to one degree or another.
Link to current outage map by downdetector.com: http://goo.gl/cXj5UG
Adding to the fury and outrage of customers posting on the Comcast/Xfinity Facebook page is Comcast’s unwillingness to provide timely, accurate, or adequate information when customers call supposed service and support numbers.
In response to complaints on its Facebook page, Comcast’s last posting on the subject as of 10 PM last night (while independent outage maps were still showing huge area of interrupted service, especially in the Northeast) was this lame shit:
We sincerely apologize for the service issues some of our customers may have experienced. We know our customers value their TV experience and our engineers are working diligently to restore service as quickly as possible.
Really helpful and responsive, assholes. And what’s with the past tense? Outages are still going on. TODAY. Like every other friggin’ day in Comcast’s empire of vassal cable villages. Your service is defined by outages.
And why hasn’t anyone trained your Philippines-based call center operators to offer courteous apologies like the ones you post for anyone who bothers to find your silly corporate Facebook page? Perhaps between sessions devoted to threatening operators who fail to sell cable package upgrades to customers seeking problem resolution you could throw in some actual training on customer service?
As one response put it: “Thank you for your apologies but I would really appreciate not being hung up on 9 times and I still have not spoken to anyone. You’re costumer service is atrocious!!!”
So, seriously now…
Dear Comcast,
I’m really glad you made boatloads of money on inflated subscription rates.[ii] Congratulations! However, your service sucks ass. Please immediately fire your recently appointed Senior Vice President of Customer Experience, Charlie Herrin (Seriously? This guy gets paid to suck? I’ll come there and suck at the job for 50% of Charlie’s compensation package. Think of how sharp that’ll look at the next meeting of the board!) and recommend defenestration to your CEO, Brian Roberts–he probably has a lot of office windows to choose from.
The FCC and FTC need to investigate why you all charge money for services you cannot reliably provide and yet maintain regional cable monopoly status (fiber-optic and satellite are not competing cable services).
For example, though Cox is cheaper and provides more reliable service and does better with customer response, people in my community cannot switch to Cox because Comcast has an exclusive monopoly in our area.
Bottom line: Quit sucking.
Thanks!
(Comcast CEO eMail: brian_roberts@comcast.com)
Dear Comcast Customers,
Congress needs to get on this telecom regulation nightmare immediately. Consumers like you are being abused.
CONTACT FCC AND CONGRESS AND TELL THEM TO INVESTIGATE COMCAST AND END REGIONAL CABLE MONOPOLIES!
In all seriousness, DO IT!
(Link to FCC Consumer Complaints: http://goo.gl/YtGNnX)
[i] Please add “platform” to “system” and “solution” on your list of bullshit words to be purged from the approved vocabulary come the revolution. “Gaget” and “gadgetry” will more than adequately serve for the crap that currently gets labeled with these marketing bloat words.
[ii] Amy Chozick, “Higher Cable Bills Help Comcast Increase Profit by 17%” New York Times, May 1, 2013
Back to the Root 