Once running an eager but flaccid third-tier campaign, Senator Rick Santorum is poised to burst into first in Iowa.
Spurting ahead like some sort of frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that might be associated with anal sex, the Santorum campaign is now assertively sliding by the other third-tier GOP candidates and thrusting into position to come from behind with a big surprise for the pundits and current Iowa front-runners.
The good news for Santorum is that his popularity is ballooning in Iowa, and the ranks of his supporters swelling, just as the campaign nears climax at precisely the right moment—just days ahead of ultimate release on caucus day, January 3.
Cigarettes and pillow-talk are scheduled for the GOP and Santorum on January 4.
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