Sign the National Petition to Ban ‘Merry Christmas’

It’s that most wonderful time of the year again!

Time to settle the question of our official national holiday greeting once and for all; we must end Christian domination of the seasonal discourse. As liberals we must finish our quest to stamp out ‘Merry Christmas’!

As every school child should know, the United States of America is a secular state. As such, both government and the people must recognize no authority higher than the Constitution and the leaders we elect. While our Constitution requires us to tolerate the private exercise of religious and superstitious practices, we must always vigilantly stamp out any public expressions of faith in supernatural religious deities (except those of non-western and non-traditional peoples who must be free to overcome the dominant cultural power).

While our current laws and regulations have heretofore done an adequate job of protecting us from Christian chauvinism in the public square, recent resistance among Christian believers wishing to publicly express their faith during the so-called ‘Christmas’ season requires a forceful reassertion of secularism. Hostility to Jesus must be more clearly codified in law.

Christians have long falsely asserted a privileged place in American history; they have presented their distorted version of American heritage despite the true historical origins of our political system and its well documented design to overcome Jesus-worship. As George Washington himself said,

“It is a regrettable Consequence of our Historical Origins that so many Citizens of our new Republick are beclouded by Ancient superstitions, the most noxious of which being the Cult of Jesus which subverts the Liberty of the mental Faculties. The stubborn Belief in Christ settles itself now amongst Us like an Antiquated piece of mammoth Furniture bequest to Us by addlepated Ancestors. The pitiful Messianic figure commonly known as Jesus is little more than a Specter, a figment of the Imagination of European peasants, a Phantom fostered by Tyrannical Monarchs in all Civilisations since the Fall of the Roman Empire to justify their illegitimate rule. Rome had Jupiter; The House of Hanover had Jesus. If there were a God, we would surely thank Him for Endowing our new Nation with the Wisdom to Progress unburdened by foolish Beliefs in Invisible Deities.”

~Letter to Colonel George Billington Mullworthy, 1788

It is time to end our continued public veneration of the Baby Jesus idol every December; such slavish worship is unfitting of a modern, liberal, educated society. The worst manifestation of this unconstitutional intrusion of Christian hocus pocus into our secular social life is the perseverance of the seasonal holiday greeting: Merry CHRISTmas.

We must end this social dominance by intolerant Christian dominionists by outlawing the Christian greeting and replacing it with a more appropriate greeting that highlights the secular and social nature of our Constitutional democracy.[1]

Pleasant Season of Social Celebration

Presidential candidate and Christian hair-model Rick Perry has recently asserted that while gays can openly serve in the military, ‘our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas in school.” Would that it were true! To this day, thousands of public school officials continue to violate the federal law that requires swift punishment for public school students who assault agnostic children, atheist children, and children of other faiths by wishing them a ‘Merry Christmas’ during school hours. While little can be done to put an immediate halt to all public expressions of ‘Merry Christmas’ we can start by requiring all employees and students in our public schools, as well as the employees and patrons of all publicly funded agencies, to recite an officially approved seasonal greeting: Pleasant Season of Social Celebration.

Join the movement to democratize the public square and contain Christmas to the privacy of individual households. Sign up as a footsoldier in the final War on Christmas!

Sign the National Petition to Ban ‘Merry Christmas’ now!

[1] The Committee to Reeducate Americans for Secular Society (CRASS) selected the specific phrasing ‘Pleasant Season of Social Celebration’ after 15 weeks of deliberation and hearings. ‘Pleasant’ was chosen in preference to ‘happy’ and ‘merry which were determined to be culturally laden with connotations of spirituality; by contrast ‘pleasant’ is a more culturally neutral term and thus less prone to sedimented cultural domination. ‘Social Celebration’ is designed to highlight the social nature of the tradition of family and community gathering attendant with the winter season. “Celebration’ was preferred over ‘Holiday’ since the etymology of ‘holiday’ directly connects it with Sabbath and holiness, both of which would clearly violate the secular intentions of the U.S. Constitution.