[Intro  à la Newt:] From out of the billowing smoke of once rocketing candidates burning up upon reentry into the lower atmosphere of the current polls, now emerges…GINGRICH![1]

The ‘Big Ideas’ man has at long last shaken free of the pack and now leads the field according to polling among Republican voters.

Finally the Republican Party, having indulged itself in capering about with the faux populism of the anti-intellectuals and shoot-from-the-lip insurgents, has settled down to the business of putting forth a serious-minded conservativeto contend with Romney for the Party’s nomination.

Is Gingrich a serious-minded, big-thinking public figure? Well, according to Dan Balls (who has to be taken as an authoritative observer of the American scene since he is positioned now as heir to the David Broder chair of American Journalism—and has a beard) Newt is a ‘student of history’ and ‘an idea-spewing machine unlike anyone else…a one-man think tank.” Richard A. Posner (speaking of towering intellects—you know Chicago School of Law, creator of the ‘law and economics’ school of legal analysis…y’know, a brainiac), Posner lists Newt as one of the nation’s ‘public intellectuals, right up there with Thomas Jefferson, Patrick Moynihan, and Woodrow Wilson, William Galston, Richard Rorty, and William F. Buckley (no kidding, pages 22-25).

And many conservatives are beside themselves with glee at the prospect of watching Obama come up against Newtonian brilliance. Frequent contributor to TownHall.com (and who wouldn’t think first of THIS center of American intellectualism when looking for authority on who’s who in the world of smarts), Matt Towery, writes ‘I’ve been a witness to plenty of “big ideas” from Newt Gingrich that not only were significant, but long-lasting.’ And if testimony from these big thinking sources isn’t enough, go ask the biggest brain around: Newt himself—he’ll tell you. Just this week, Newt informed an audience at the Nixon Library that he is the “one big ideas candidate” in the field for the Republican presidential nomination. So that should answer all doubts on that score.

So now with this Big Thinking public intellectual taking the lead in the race for the presidency, we should expect to see a noticeable improvement in the quality of our civil public discourse. And this will be most welcome since we are at a crucial crossro…

Wait. What’s that? Oh…I see…

Well, it seems upon closer examination that while Newt may have a really large brain, he’s not likely to improve discourse—indeed, it may actually get uglier.

Why?

Because this is the guy who GAVE BIRTH to the new conservative penchant for outrageous diatribe, hysteria-fueled polemics, and vitriolic invective.

Recall, if you will, that it was then-newly elected Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich who circulated the 1995 memo/instruction-manual that demonstrated that he was and is perhaps the most twistedly brilliant propagandist in all of American politics: the notorious ‘Language: A Key Mechanism of Control’.[2]With its technocratically banal and somewhat academically abstruse title, this handy guide to poisoning the waters of what Bill Moyers has called ‘the great conversation of democracy’ was distributed as a memo to the freshman Republican members of the 104th Congress in 1995.

According to the memo’s own remarkably candid (read: brazen) preamble, the document was supposed to serve Republican House members as “a directory of words to use in writing literature and mail, in preparing speeches, and in producing electronic media… [to] help you clearly define the policies and record of your opponents and the Democratic party.” In the memo, the Republican freshmen were sternly instructed regarding the directory of words it contained: “Read them. Memorize as many as possible. And remember…these words will not help if they are not used.”

And what was in this Orwellian ‘directory’ of terms carefully crafted to helpfully ‘define’ the opposition party’s policies?

Well, first a list of words the aspiring propagandist can apply to his own policies and record; word and terms selected to “help you define your campaign and your vision of public service. “ This list of sixty-four ‘Optimistic Positive Governing Words’ include such warm and fuzzy terms as ‘care(ing)… commitment,…freedom…pioneer, …passionate,…humane,…prosperity,…strength’ and, of course, ‘truth.’

And what words do we use when we want to ‘clearly define’ our opponents or their policies or records? Well, here’s the part that will really raise the level of discourse once Newt gets into his full rhythm; here’re the words we can expect Newt to use to helpfully define for us the things he opposes:

abuse of power anti- (issue): flag, family, child, jobs betray bizarre bosses bureaucracy cheat coercion “compassion” is not enough collapse(ing) consequences corrupt corruption criminal rights crisis cynicism decay deeper destroy destructive devour disgrace endanger excuses failure (fail) greed hypocrisy ideological impose incompetent insecure insensitive

intolerant liberal lie limit(s) machine mandate(s) obsolete pathetic patronage permissive attitude pessimistic punish (poor …) radical red tape self-serving selfish sensationalists shallow shame sick spend(ing) stagnation status quo steal taxes they/them threaten traitors unionized urgent (cy) waste welfare

And, oh, by the way, for those wondering why Newt seems to spin wildly from one position to another–one big thought crowding out and even contradicting another? Silly tiny-brains. Think about this memo. Newt Gingrich doesn’t give a shit about policy or ideas. Policy proposals and ideas are just vehicles for carrying defining adjectives, adverbs, and hyperbole. While other tiny-brained mortals use hyperbolic words to supplement ideas and propositions, for Big Ideas Newt they are not supplements, they are the substance. For they are what establish dominance, place one brand (his) in a positive light and the other brand (everyone else’s) in darkness, promote one figure (him) to prominence while others (everyone else) are relegated to the audience, there to marvel at The Newt in all his Newtness.

Citizen Gingrich is not interested in ideas, he is only interested in self-promotion. To what end? This is a foolish question born of antiquated, tiny-brained thinking. Newt is way beyond you and me. Newt is THE post-post-modern public figure: he is a brand, and the brand is nothing other than Newt’s brilliant self, and self-promotion is its own end.

And now let us recall Sir John Lithgow’s brilliant dramatic reading of the Bard of Tulane’s May 18 press release entitled The Literati Vanquished.

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[1] Okay, so I stole the form and language from Gingrich’s own florid press release of May 18, 2011 in which he fired back at critics from the main stream media. Who better to steal literary style from than the master himself? (“From out of the billowing smoke…? What, did he hire a copy writer for movie trailers?)

[2] The linked document inaccurately identifies this is a 1996 memo. Most sources indicate that Gingrich drafted the document in 1994 and distributed it in 1995. I selected this link because, of the few sites carrying the complete text, this one offered the least editorialization in its introduction.

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